Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
