kristin has been a bad kristin
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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