I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
