Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
