put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Randomize
