Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
