He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize