no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
