people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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