I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize