the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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