Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I think I am morally bankrupt
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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