we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
