Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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