shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
i think im in europe. pls send help
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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