im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
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