Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
