I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
