Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
