I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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