I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
