White coat. Heels.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
