google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
