Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Randomize
