Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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