I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
