he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
