Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
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