We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
