At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
