she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
