new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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