this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
