is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
