Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
