i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
