Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
one might say we're banned from that church
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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