You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Do you still have your period?
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
