You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
