There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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