found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
