This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
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"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize