My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
