just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
