i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
