spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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