I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
