Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
