I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
