I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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