Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Randomize
