She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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