bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Randomize
