I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
