You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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