a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
