I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
