I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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