would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
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