I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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