Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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