Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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