You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Randomize
