i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
