Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
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