Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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