when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
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